Walter Hagen was the undisputed master of last-minuting. He would saunter onto the first tee half an hour late for a match (when he knew he wouldn't be disqualified), or arrive within a minute or two of his tee time in a major championship. Which would invariably unnerve his opponents.

For avid golfers, a blown tee-time is a big disappointment. Hence the object of last-minuting: to create such anxiety in your opponent that he'll be late--to turn the screw on his nerves so tight--he'll be a basket case by the time he finally tees off.

When you meet your opponent at the course: Be as late as possible without losing your starting time. If you must arrive early to warm up, disappear before tee-off and reappear dangerously close to forfeiture.

When you pick up your opponent: Arrive on time but ask to "use the facilities," then sequester yourself for fifteen minutes (bring a paperback; reconcile your checkbook, etc.).

When your opponent picks you up: The courteous thing to do is to be waiting at the curb with your clubs, ready to go, especially if it's early in the morning. The courteous thing to do is to make things go as smoothly as possible. Therefore, invite him into the house, where you've spread the contents of your golf bag (balls, tees, windbreaker, sunscreen, Power Bars, etc.) in the hall. Try to be in the process of replacing your spikes when he arrives, and ask him to help (hand him the little wrench).

When you're finally approaching his car with all your equipment, suddenly realize you've left something in the house, or announce that "nature calls" and retreat for twenty minutes (paperback, checkbook, etc.).

On the way: If you're playing your home course and your opponent picks you up, show him a "shortcut" that actually takes forty-five minutes longer. Other stress-producing passenger ploys include sympathetic braking, calling for a sudden turn, and the phantom engine noise (do not attempt unless you're an accomplished ventriloquist).

Advanced last-minuting: When your opponent comes to pick you up, answer the doorbell in your bathrobe, your hair tousled. Rub your eyes, squint at the morning light, and croak, "That was today?" (Extra points for wearing a nightcap.) Or, in perhaps the most outrageous--but proportionally rewarding--of all last-minute ploys, when your opponent arrives, invite him into the house, lead him to the kitchen, turn on your heels, and cry, "Who's for pancakes?" (Extra points for wearing an apron.) The prospect of cracking eggs and pouring circles of batter onto a griddle--let alone the melting butter and maple syrup--is worth two-up in match play and three strokes in medal. This is the proffer alone! If you actually make the pancakes, the potential is probably unlimited, but speculation will have to suffice because, as of this writing, the pancake ploy has never been taken that far. Caveat: For some reason, French toast isn't nearly as effective.

Do you have a favorite golf ploy you don't see here? Submit it to our contest and it may appear in the next edition of How to Win at Golf!