Lots of people call badminton “bad-mitten.”
      Those people don’t know what they are talking about.
      In badminton, your father takes about three hours to set up a net because there are rocks under the grass where he is trying to jam the posts in.
      In the meantime, you and your friends kill each other with jokes about how the thing you are supposed to hit over the net, if your dad ever gets it set up, is called a “shuttlecock.”
      You keep repeating “shuttlecock” over and over. Eventually, one of your friends laughs so hard he pees his pants and has to go home to change clothes.
      I just peed my pants and would have to go home to change my clothes except I’m already home.
      We live on a hill in Connecticut and the front yard is slanted so severely there is no shot at playing badminton, even if I let my daughters say “shuttlecock.” Plus my dad died in 2001 so there is no one around to set up the game.
      Anyway, in badminton, once your dad has set up the net, you hit the shuttlecock back and forth over the net. If it hits the ground on your side the opponent gets a point.
      I think the games are played to 15, but who cares? Badminton is not as cool as tackle football but you usually don't break your femur as often. Then again, I’ve never seen someone play badminton with Lawrence Taylor.

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