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How to Survive a Horror Movie by Seth Grahame-Smith
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How to Survive a Horror Movie

All the Skills to Dodge the Kills

All the Skills to Dodge the Kills

By Seth Grahame-Smith

By Seth Grahame-Smith

By Seth Grahame-Smith

By Seth Grahame-Smith

Best Seller
Paperback $14.99

Sep 24, 2019 | ISBN 9781683691464

Ebook $9.99

May 18, 2011 | ISBN 9781594745683

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    How to Survive a Horror Movie by Seth Grahame-Smith
    Ebook
    May 18, 2011 | ISBN 9781594745683

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    • $14.99

      Sep 24, 2019 | ISBN 9781683691464

      Buy from Other Retailers:

    • May 18, 2011 | ISBN 9781594745683

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    About How to Survive a Horror Movie

    Written by the screenwriter and producer behind Stephen King’s It, and with an introduction by horror icon Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street), this is a hilarious must-read for any horror movie fan—and it just might save your life

    Are you reading this in a cornfield, at a summer camp, or in an abandoned mental institution? Have you noticed that everything is poorly lit, or that music surges every time you open a door? If the answer is yes, you’re probably trapped in a horror movie. But don’t freak out—just read this book! With it you will learn how to overcome every obstacle found in scary films, including:

    • How to determine what type of horror film you’re trapped in
    • The five types of slashers and how to defeat them
    • How to handle killer dolls, murderous automobiles, and other haunted objects
    • How to deal with alien invasions, zombie apocalypses, and other global threats
    • What to do if you did something last summer, if your corn has children in it, or if you suspect you’re already dead
     
    So don’t be afraid: no vampire, zombie horde, cannibal hillbilly, Japanese vengeance ghost, or other horror movie monster can hurt you—as long as you have this book.

    About How to Survive a Horror Movie

    Written by the screenwriter and producer behind Stephen King’s It, and with an introduction by horror icon Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street), this is a hilarious must-read for any horror movie fan—and it just might save your life

    Are you reading this in a cornfield, at a summer camp, or in an abandoned mental institution? Have you noticed that everything is poorly lit, or that music surges every time you open a door? If the answer is yes, you’re probably trapped in a horror movie. But don’t freak out—just read this book! With it you will learn how to overcome every obstacle found in scary films, including:

    • How to determine what type of horror film you’re trapped in
    • The five types of slashers and how to defeat them
    • How to handle killer dolls, murderous automobiles, and other haunted objects
    • How to deal with alien invasions, zombie apocalypses, and other global threats
    • What to do if you did something last summer, if your corn has children in it, or if you suspect you’re already dead
     
    So don’t be afraid: no vampire, zombie horde, cannibal hillbilly, Japanese vengeance ghost, or other horror movie monster can hurt you—as long as you have this book.

    Read An Excerpt

    Read An Excerpt

    About Seth Grahame-Smith

    Seth Grahame-Smith is a New York Times best-selling author (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies; Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter), screenwriter (Dark Shadows; The Lego Batman Movie), and producer (Stephen King’s It) of film and television. His novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies debuted at #3 on the New York Times Best Seller List, has sold… More about Seth Grahame-Smith

    About Seth Grahame-Smith

    Seth Grahame-Smith is a New York Times best-selling author (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies; Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter), screenwriter (Dark Shadows; The Lego Batman Movie), and producer (Stephen King’s It) of film and television. His novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies debuted at #3 on the New York Times Best Seller List, has sold… More about Seth Grahame-Smith

    Product Details

    Category: Performing Arts | Humor | Movies & TV

    Paperback | $14.99
    Published by Quirk Books
    Sep 24, 2019 | 176 Pages | 5 x 7 | ISBN 9781683691464

    Category: Performing Arts | Humor | Movies & TV

    Ebook | $9.99
    Published by Quirk Books
    May 18, 2011 | 176 Pages | ISBN 9781594745683

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    Praise

    “Grahame-Smith’s little volume is just like a horror movie: entertaining and…a fun afternoon’s diversion.”
    —The Hartford Courant

    “If you have snakes on your plane, did something last summer or suspect you’ve been dead since the beginning of the movie, then this is the book for you.”
    —McClatchy-Tribune

    “If anyone would know how to survive a horror movie, it would be Seth Grahame-Smith.”
    —Tulsa World

    “How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for horror movie buffs of all ages.”
    —Think Geek

    “Insightful, funny, and a must-have companion for any horror fan.”
    —Geeks of Doom

    “A tongue-in-cheek guide loaded with humorous insights to the many familiar cinematic tropes that populate the genre.”
    —Horror DNA, 4 star review

    Table Of Contents

    FOREWORD: AN APOLOGY FROM WES CRAVEN
     
    CHAPTER I: WELCOME TO THE TERRORVERSE
    How Do I Know If I’m in a Horror Movie?
    How Do I Know What Type of Horror Movie I’m In?
    C.R.A.V.E.N. (Cover, Recon, Arsenal, Vehicle, Escape, North)
    The Seven Deadly Horror Movie Sins
    How to Survive a Horror Movie High School

    CHAPTER II: SLASHER SURVIVAL SCHOOL
    The Slaughterhouse Five: Five Types of Slashers and How to Defeat Them
    How to Survive Summer Vacation
    How to Survive a Night of Babysitting
    How to Stay Awake for a Week

    CHAPTER III: INANIMATE EVIL
    How to Survive a Haunted House
    What to Do When an Evil Vehicle Wants You Dead
    How to Defeat a Killer Doll
    How to Tell If an Object Is Evil

    CHAPTER IV: CRYPT-OGRAPHY
    How to Survive a Cemetery
    The Good, the Bad, and the Deadly: Know Your Ghosts
    How to Kill the Living Dead
    How to Kill a Vampire
    How to Tell If You’ve Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movie

    CHAPTER V: MONSTER MASH
    How to Survive a Global Alien Attack
    What to Do If It Follows You
    How to Survive a Space-Based Horror Movie

    CHAPTER 666: THE SATANIC “VERSUS”
    What to Do If Your Corn Has Children in It
    Four Ways to Handle a Witch How to Perform an Exorcism
    What to Do If You Have Only Seven Days to Live
    How to Defeat Satan

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