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  • How to Be a Great Lover
  • Written by Lou Paget
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  • How to Be a Great Lover
  • Written by Lou Paget
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On Sale: January 29, 2014
Pages: 256 | ISBN: 978-0-8041-5135-1
Published by : Harmony Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony
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Tags for this book (powered by Library Thing)
sex (15) sexuality (7) non-fiction (4) erotica (4)
sex (15) sexuality (7) non-fiction (4) erotica (4)
Synopsis|Excerpt|Table of Contents


One of America's most popular sexperts offers a fun, refreshingly modern, totally explicit guide to mastering a man's body.

No matter what age we are or how much experience we have, we all want to be great lovers. Most of the sex guides for women, however, have been prudish, esoteric, or incomplete. The ultimate sexual instruction book for women, How to Be a Great Lover gives you the down and dirty details that you really want to know on exactly what men like and why, and shares the proven erotic techniques that make for incredible sex you'll both enjoy.  

Acclaimed sex expert Lou Paget draws on the real-life experience of the hundreds of men and women who have attended her workshops and presents their secrets and tricks in an elegant, no-nonsense style. Lou has found that in the bedroom (or closet, or kitchen), knowledge equals confidence, and confidence will make you feel empowered, heighten the intimacy of your relationship, and enable you and your partner to enjoy yourselves in a variety of intense, new ways. Whether you are starting a new relationship, have run out of creative ideas, or want to light his fire all over again, How to Be a Great Lover has enough spicy tips and surprises to excite both of you and leave him begging for more.

From kissing techniques, ways to create the right atmosphere, and a lesson on safe sex--including the "Italian Method" of putting a condom on a man with your mouth--to twenty different manual techniques and the secrets of great oral sex,  Lou covers all the basics and more.  She offers innovative positions for intercourse, tantalizing moves you can do with a pearl necklace, and a beginner's guide to anal stimulation, as well as a catalogue of sex toys and how to use them.  With more than ninety step-by-step illustrations that will show you how to drive him wild, How to Be a Great Lover provides proven, sure-fire techniques that will make you a master of the bedroom.


"I can now throw out the message 'If you're too experienced or know too much--you're a slut.'I now see that couldn't be further from the truth.  There is such power in owning one's sexuality and self."

Gathered in a boardroom in an elegant midtown private club, ten to fifteen women, ranging in age from early twenties to mid-fifties, stare at the table center.  The table itself is laid with silver flatware, linen napkins, and fresh flowers.  It's evening and the lighting is dim, provoking an air of expectancy.

"Okay ladies, this will be the first of many choices you will have to make this evening." I stand at the head of a long, rectangular mahogany table.

Some of the women are dressed in couture suits; others are dressed more casually, in slacks; others are still more casual, decked in a downtown hip look.  The women are staring rather mutely at the center of the table, in which are placed a selection of what I affectionately call "instructional products" (better known as dildos).

"Without being overly PC, please select the color of your choice--white, black, or mulatto--and the size you prefer-- 8-inch, 7-inch, 6-inch, or the ever-so-popular 5-inch executive model."

I hear a few peals of laughter and then I smile at the newcomers and say again, "Ladies, go ahead and choose an instructional product."

A tall, lanky woman in her mid-forties says, "Do I have to choose what I have at home?"

Gales of laughter follow.  The women look around at each other and can't believe they are laughing so hard.  I know now, after almost six years of conducting The Sexuality Seminars across the U.S. and in Canada, that this is the ice-breaking moment, when the women who have come to learn more about sex, and specifically, to learn how to become a better lover, begin to relax.

How to Be a Great Lover is a cumulative extension of these seminars and includes not only what I have learned from my research, but also what I have learned from the many women who have attended the seminars.  Throughout the book, you will hear their voices, as well as the voices of their men, sharing their experiences--woman to woman.  As one woman, a fifty-five-year-old housewife from Seattle, told me, "I found out learning about sex isn't just for my children's generation.  After my husband's death, I am dating again and at my age, I HAVE to know about safe sex."

I want to be absolutely clear about the spirit with which this book was written.  It was never my intent to sit down and create a book about how to please a man.  While there is no point in arguing the fact that the man in your life will be a major beneficiary of the information found here, the real purpose is threefold: to empower you as a woman, heighten the intimacy of your romantic relationship, and enable you and your partner to enjoy yourselves in intense new ways.

While biology may have graced us with a basic understanding of how to have sex, we are not necessarily born great lovers.  We learn to be great lovers.  And I have always believed that anything worth doing is worth doing well.  Wouldn't you agree that the better we are at something, the more we enjoy doing it?  Sex is no different.  It shouldn't be an experience just to get through, but rather an experience to be relished from beginning to end.  For that to happen, you've got to know what you're doing.

I also believe that every woman has the right to be sexually proficient.  You'll find that knowing what to do to your man's body can provide you with as much power as it does pleasure.  And contrary to what we've been made to feel in the past, there never has, nor ever will be anything unladylike about being masterful in the bedroom.  The truth is, being sexually savvy is no less a part of being a woman than motherhood, and learning how to be a great lover is about excelling in all areas of womanhood.

It's for these reasons, as well as the demand from the women in the seminars, that I decided to write a book that teaches women the art of sex, and I hope to give you extraordinary tools that will enable you to please your lover beyond his wildest expectations.

Table of Contents

Chapter One
How I Came to Teach the Sexuality Seminars     1
Chapter Two
Creating Your Sensual Environment     19
Chapter Three
A Kiss Is Never Just a Kiss     38
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
There Is No Question     83
Chapter Six
Mastering Manual Stimulation     97
Chapter Seven
Every Woman's Guide to Great Oral Sex     133
Chapter Eight
Only for the Sexually Adventurous     155
Chapter Nine
The Magic of Intercourse     167
Chapter Ten
Discover the Pleasure of Toys     196
One Final Word     215
Bibliography     217
Sources     223
Lou Paget

About Lou Paget

Lou Paget - How to Be a Great Lover

Photo © Ron Derhacobian

AASECT certified sex educator Lou Paget is the author of four previous sex guides: How to Be a Great Lover, How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure, The Big O, and 365 Days of Sensational Sex. Her sold-out Sexuality Seminars are taught throughout the US, Canada, and Europe, and her advice appears frequently in the media. She lives in Los Angeles, California.


Praise for How to Be a Great Lover

"An excellent guide for women who want to expand their bedroom skills and put more fun and excitement into lovemaking.  I highly recommend it."
--John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

"Lou Paget is funny, informative, and classy.  She is dedicated to teaching women to express their sexuality from a place of empowerment and power, not just for the sake of man-pleasing.  Her course taught me some tricks even I'd never thought of!"
--Laurie Sue Brockway, former Editor-in-chief, Playgirl magazine, and author of How to Seduce a Man and Keep Him Seduced

"Finally, a how-to sex book that actually tells you how to.  Women readers will gain skill and confidence, men will gain pleasure and will respond by giving their women more pleasure.  A lot of couples will have much more enjoyable sex because of Lou Paget's down-to-earth, practical, and altogether excellent advice."
--Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D., author of The New Male Sexuality

"Lou gave the Jane staff one of her sexuality seminars, and it rocked!  This book is definitely the next best thing."
--Jane Pratt, editor-in-chief, Jane magazine

  • How to Be a Great Lover by Lou Paget
  • January 12, 1999
  • Self-Help - Sexual Instruction
  • Harmony
  • $20.00
  • 9780767902878

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