A Conversation with Freddie Mae Baxter

Q: How did your book come about? A: I was working for this woman in New York. I worked for her for 20 years. She had a friend named Gloria Miller who often came to visit. We only said hello to each other. Then the woman I worked for broke her hip and had to go to a nursing home. It was located outside the city. I called Ms. Miller and asked if she'd like to go up there with me since I knew the way. She said okay. We talked when we went up there on the train and Ms. Miller told me she thought I was a good story teller. She liked the stories I told her about growing up in the south and then coming up north and she asked if she could tape my stories.

At first I said no. She said something may come of it or nothing might come of it, but she thought people would like to hear about my life. So I said yes. I would go to her house every Friday afternoon. We would talk for about two hours. She would ask me questions. Whatever she would ask me, I would tell her. It took about a year for us to finish taping. When it was done, she gave me a copy of the writing and said she was going to try to do something with it. She did do something with it and God bless her. From the bottom of my heart, God bless her. That's how The Seventh Child came to be.

Q: Your book is subtitled: A Lucky Life. In what ways do you consider yourself lucky?

A: There's all kind of luck in this world. Like winning in Atlantic City or getting the right combinations for Lotto. But I have had a different kind of luck in my life. I was very lucky for having a mother like mine. There were eight of us and she raised us all by herself. I was the seventh child. My mother was very honest and strong, and everything she did was from the heart. She didn't have any education. What she taught us sure wasn't in any book. You don't read in a book how to raise your kids. That comes from your heart and my mother had a big heart. My mother was the greatest influence in my life. She died in 1940. She died young. I, on the other hand, had my 75th birthday last August. I was also lucky to have my sisters and brothers with me till they got old. Everybody was over 70 when they died. God let me have them and I loved them very very much.

Q: How did your mother manage to hold the family together?

A: With a little bit of this and a little bit of that. She worked, cleaning and cooking for different families and she always would bring home leftovers. We had quite a few leftovers from the people that she was working for but regardless of whether it was leftovers or not, it still fed us.

We would go in the field and pick berries and she could make those into a meal. With blackberries, she could make doobies (some people call them dumplings), and my mother could really fix them. One potful would take care of the whole family. Everybody got some. Most of the time we didn't get a second helping. But if it was there, you got it. We all grew up under her roof until we got almost grown. When she died only two of us were not grown: my younger brother Julius, and I.

Q: Who are you closest to in your family now?

A: All through my life I was closest to my older sister, Victoria. She was five years older than me. She was my favorite. When I was a little girl, she never did turn me down for anything; if I needed her help or whatever. Like if Momma wasn't around, she was always there for me. Of all the brothers, Julius is my favorite because he was my Momma's last child and I love him very very much. Every day we talk on the phone in the morning and at night just to make sure we made it through another day. He can tell me anything and I can tell him anything. If something is hurting on our body, we talk about it. We are brother and sister and I think we have to help each other. I think Momma would want it that way.

Q: You say when you were growing up, the neighborhood kids were always hanging around your house even though your family was too poor to offer them any refreshment. Why do you think that was?

A: All the neighborhood kids would always be around our yard. It was because our family always was happy. We were never fighting or anything like that. And if you asked my mother a question, she could always answer it for you. She would never say, "I don't want to be bothered" or "Get away." We always played games and when we played them they were beautiful. Mostly I was the leader. I organized the games and the kids would come and do some of the things I asked them to do. I always played fair. I'd say, "You take a side and I'll take a side and you pick how many you want and I'll pick how many I want." Most of them would want to be on my side. I was like a bully. I really would hit if they did something wrong, but only if they did something wrong. They all seemed to love me, regardless of what game we played. I could always have a group of kids around me.

Q: What was it like growing up in Denmark, South Carolina?

A: It was beautiful. I didn't know anything but Denmark. I didn't know any other towns around. Whatever we had to do, we enjoyed. I believe if I had stayed home, I think I would have liked it. But I came up to New York and saw these beautiful lights and everybody was having a good time and I was young, so I just figured that New York was the place for me.

Q: You came up north in 1942? Why did you decide to do that?

A: My mother had died and I missed her so much. And my older brothers and sisters kept at me all the time, saying that I couldn't go to this place or that place. I was almost 17 years old. So I said I've got to make some moves. And I asked an aunt who was living in Elizabeth, New Jersey if I could come up north and stay with her. She was taking care of my brother, Julius. I got a little job in New Jersey. I was making 12 dollars and fifty cents a week and my aunt wanted half of it. I didn't think I should have to give her half of what I earned. All my friends were in New York and I got fed up going back to New Jersey after my day off. So I came up to New York to stay and found my own place. I always liked having my own place where nobody could tell me to get out. I never had a sleeping-in job in New York. I always had a place to stay.

Q: Let's talk about some of the jobs you had in New York.

A: I had two kinds of jobs: taking care of kids and taking care of old people. My first specialty was taking care of kids. I did that for years. I brought up quite a few kids, black and white. My family and friends. They always sent them to Freddie Mae. They said, don't worry, Freddie Mae can do this and she can do that. I can't do it all but I can try. I took care of kids from the time they came home from the hospital until, well, they were ready to go to college. I always got along with my kids. I never yelled too loud at them. If a kid did something wrong, I'd say, "Come over here, please" and I'd tell him how he did wrong. Children are people. They're just little. You've got to treat them like you would treat people. If you go yelling and screaming at them and their friends hear you, you'll embarrass them. Then they'll get nasty with you. If you treat them right, they're going to act right. I really believe that and I've never had any trouble with my kids. I was saying the other day that it would be nice if all of the kids I took care of--if they're still alive--would get together and put in a few dollars and give the lady that took care of them a bash.

I went to work with old people when I got tired of running after kids. I loved it. There's something about helping somebody and making somebody feel good. I knew some of those old people were going to be cranky with me. I can tell by the look on their face. When I saw that, I knew exactly how to approach them. I'd be so sweet to the old people that I wouldn't have any problem with them. If you come in with a grouchy face, you've got to shake that before you get to those old people. They can feel it too, you know. If you say to them, "It's time to get up now," they might say to you, "Oh, please let me have a few more minutes." You would answer, "I have just been thinking about that myself. I am going to let you have a few more minutes." You have to make them feel like they are somebody. The next time you ask them to get up, they'll be ready. That's why I didn't have any problems working with old people.

Q: You talk in your book about your love of music. Can you tell us about your favorite singers and musicians?

A: My favorite singer of all was Billie Holiday. I could have the radio on while I was asleep and if I heard her voice, she could wake me up. That's just how good she was. She could sing it all. She could sing jazz. She could sing dance pieces. Anything she sang was good enough for me. My second favorite was Dinah Washington. She was just a jazz singer, blues singer, period. Whatever she sang made you want to dance. That was way back there in the forties. In the fifties, sixties and seventies, I liked Aretha Franklin and Gladys Knight. I wasn't liking Patti Labelle at first but I like her now. I don't have too many favorite boy singers. Way back there, I liked Billy Eckstine. In those days, we used to call pants "britches." We danced our britches off. I love to dance. Right now, if you would put on some piece of music that I like, I don't care where I am, I will get up and dance. Nobody has to get up with me. I can do it all by myself. Any piece of music. I like everything but opera. I can't do anything with it. I don't understand it so what can I do with it?

Q: What are some of the biggest changes you've seen among the American people in your lifetime?

A: When I was growing up, people took care of each other. If I did something wrong, any mother of a child could yell at me or spank me. Like if a neighbor child's mother told me not to touch something and I did it anyway. I couldn't go home and say to Momma that Miss So-and-So yelled at me. Do you think my mother would have gotten a stick and gone over to that lady and beat her up? No. She would ask me, "What did you do?" Because if I didn't tell her the lady was going to tell her. And that would mean I'd get two beatings. The next time Miss So-and-So tells you not to touch it, you don't touch it. That way you don't get two beatings instead of one. Now we don't look out for each other the way we did then.

But most of all, I think that people today don't really love enough, they don't get along. You don't want to do anything for me and I don't want to do anything for you. And I can't really do it all by myself. I wish we could really love a little bit more than we do. When I was growing up, we did more for each other because we didn't have anything. When you're poor and don't have anything, you'll do most anything for people. You share what little you have. Then when you get where you do have more, things change. Yes, things are different today.