Not Like I'm Jealous or Anything

What's Your Jealousy Quotient?

Take this quiz and find out!
Then pick up a copy of Not Like I'm Jealous or Anything and compare notes with the rest of the greenies!

Come on, admit it. You get jealous sometimes - we all do. When that Green Monster rears his ugly little head, some of us duck for cover, and some of us rev our engines. How green are you?

1. Your favorite teacher asks the class if anyone knows the right answer. You frantically rack your brain in hopes of gaining his favor but your mind is blank! Quick as a shot the know-it-all in front of you has her hand up. Your reaction?
Doh! That should have been you getting praise and a smile from the teacher. Stupid smartypants always has the right answer.
Impulsively put your hand up too and hope that something comes out of your mouth if you are called on.
Wait until Miss know-it-all gives her answer, than show her up with witty commentary.
Whatever. It would have been nice to answer, but I guess it just wasn't in the cards.

2. You pull a soggy-bottomed, crumpled mass of bag lunch from the bottom of your backpack. Ugh. You hated the meatloaf last night and hate it more today. But you start to salivate when your buddy parks it next to you with a cafeteria tray full of yummy pizza, exotic fruit, and chocolate for dessert. Do you:
Decide that you just won't eat and stare longingly and conspicuously at your buddy's lunch as they're eating.
Miserably munch mom's meatloaf and make a silent oath to pack your own lunches from now on.
"Accidently" knock over a carton of chocolate milk onto your friend's lunch tray. If you have to eat a nasty lunch, you won't be the only one.
Make loud comments about how gross cafeteria food is and how you may have seen the lunch-lady picking her nose earlier.

3. You studied like crazy for your math test and pulled off a B, while your classmate - who you know has never picked up a book in his life! - is getting congratulated by the teacher for having the highest score in the class. Do you:
Practically miss the homework assignment because you were too busy being consumed by thoughts of injustice, unfairness, and how much better it would be for the whole world if you had gotten the best math score.
Blow it off. You still got a B and that's good enough to bring home to mom.
Slip an anonymous note to the teacher implying that he may have cheated.
Insult his sneakers.

4. The person you wanted to go to prom with ends up going with your archrival - of all people. You handle this by:
Being so obsessively preoccupied with what they are doing, wearing, and whether they are having fun that you ignore your own date.
Forget prom. You're gonna stay home and watch the movie Carrie, instead.
"Accidently" trip her on the dance floor and watch her eat gymnasium floor in front of everybody.
Show up in a super-expensive, absolutely stunning gown that makes you look like a million bucks - and pray that you won't spill anything on it so that you can return it tomorrow before dad's credit card bill comes in.

5. You are running for Student Body President and just found out that your opponent is distributing really cool personalized glitter pens for his campaign - and voting is scheduled in less than three hours. How do you handle this?
Forget it! You quit! How are you supposed to compete with PERSONALIZED GLITTER PENS, for crying out loud?
With rancor, you pick up one of his pens and loudly announce how you think glitter pens are SO outdated and lame.
Desperate times call for desperate measures! Quickly spread a rumor about your opponent stealing the glitter pens from the kindergarten class supply closet and personalizing them to cover his tracks.
By smacking yourself on the forehead. Glitter pens! Of course! Boy do you wish that you had thought of the idea first.

6. Your little brother comes home from school with a 98 on his English exam. Your parents start oohing and ahhing and acting like he's the crown prince of the world. Your response is to:
Announce your ace grade on a pop quiz in school today - sure, it was in your best subject, but can't let the parents forget who the real genius in the family is.
Praise your little brother! "Boy that's great! Does that mean you brought that F to a D finally?"
Gasp. Choke. Can't. Breathe. You can't handle the competition - you quickly find something to tattle on your brother for and breathe normally once he has lost your parents' admiration.
Gag. You can't handle all that family-sitcom-loviness so you head to your room with a bag of Oreos and a glass of milk to watch MTV.

7. Your neighbor comes bouncing over to show off her shiny new tech toy - the very music player you've been slobbering over for weeks, but that your parents won't let you have. How do you deal?
Yeah. So. Maybe you'll just get a summer job and get one for yourself, instead.
Hold the music player to your heart and imagine that it's yours, basking in the momentary glow of how perfect life is - until she snatches it back.
Refrain from touching or even looking at it and make snarky comments about how you much prefer to read a book and expand your mind instead.
Loudly bemoan the travesty of how SHE got the music player and you, who deserve it SO much more, did not.

8. Over lunch, your best-friend-since-diapers starts to rattle off trivia about a band you've never even heard of, impressing a group of cool-kids sitting nearby who then invite her to a party this weekend. How do you react?
Jump into the conversation by talking about the latest "concert" you went to and hope that nobody figures out that it was your little brother's piano recital - and that it impresses them enough for an invite of your own.
Cross your arms and roll your eyes a lot whenever your friend says anything, thus demonstrating how much you really don't care - even though you really do. A lot.
Amazing. You've known her since you were toddlers and suddenly she's coming up with the most random stuff! I mean really, how does she know all that?
Note to Self: Ask folks for subscription to hip music magazine. Must keep up. Must not be ignored by cool kids ever again.

Not Like I'm Jealous or Anything:
The Jealousy Book

edited by Marissa Walsh


now on sale!