May 2007

Dear Fellow Book Lovers:

DEALING WITH DEATH AND GRIEVING

Death is a topic that is often difficult to discuss with adolescents. Adults tend to want to shield the young from such tough topics. Those children and adolescents who have experienced the death of a relative or friend have a better understanding of grief than those who have never had to deal with it. How do adolescents know how to express comfort to a friend who is suffering grief? What can they say to him/her? Do they understand that the healing process is often very long? These are things children and adolescents must know if they are to be better friends, better comforters to peers who may be going through various stages of grief. Almost all children and adolescents are exposed to the topic of death through television. A brief news account of a “real life” death or even a one hour show about a fictitious death cannot possibly help the young connect emotionally in a way a book may. Random House offers many books that may be useful in helping young readers deal with this subject. There are a number of titles suggested at the end of this article, but I want to focus on two new young adult titles.

Grief Girl: My True Story by Erin Vincent (Ages 14 up) is the story of a young adolescent who is faced with a double grief. Her mother is killed instantly in a car crash, and her father ultimately dies from injuries sustained in the crash. Erin and her older sister, Tracy, occupy a house that feels empty, and struggle to gain custody of their much younger brother. Set in Australia, this true story helps young adolescents journey through the different stages of grief, and connect emotionally with Erin and her siblings as they begin an orphaned life.

Cures for Heartbreak by Margo Rabb (Ages 14 up) is presented as fiction, but Rabb bases the novel on her own experience of losing her mother at age sixteen. Mia, the main character, is only fifteen-years-old when her mother dies of cancer. There is little time to prepare for her mother's untimely death, because she dies just twelve days after diagnosis. Like Erin, Mia has an older sister with whom she trades constant barbs. They grieve differently, sometimes together, and often apart. And, like Erin, Mia slowly comes to terms with the death that rocked her young life, but she never quits missing her mother.

Pre-reading: Discuss the five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Ask readers to think about these stages of grief as they read any book that deals with death.

How does Erin in Grief Girl deal with the death of her parents? Contrast the way she deals with loss to the way Mia deals with it in Cures for Heartbreak. Describe how each girl moves through the stages of grief.

Compare and contrast Erin’s relationship to Tracy with Mia’s relationship to Alex. How do the sisters eventually demonstrate their love for one another?

Erin expresses feelings of abandonment when she and Tracy are sorting through her parents’ belongings. Discuss whether these feelings are a natural phase in the grieving process.

Describe Erin and Mia’s friends. Discuss whether they understand how to be a friend in the time of grief. How could their friends have responded better?

At what point do Erin and Mia move on with their lives?

Death as a result of disasters:

Ashes of Roses (Ages 12 up) by Mary Jane Auch

Forgotten Fire (Ages 14 up) by Adam Bagdasariak

One Thousand Paper Cranes (Ages 10 up) by Takayuki Ishii

Death of a pet:

Where the Red Fern Grows (Ages 8-12) by Wilson Rawls

Desser the Best Ever Cat (Ages 5-8) by Maggie Smith

I'll Always Love You (Ages 4-8) by Hans Wilhelm

Death of a grandparent:

Heaven's All-Star Jazz Band (Ages 5-8) by Don Carter

Blackberries in the Dark (Ages 7-11) by Mavis Jukes; illustrated by Thomas B. Allen

Death of a sibling:

Halfway to the Sky (Ages 8-12) by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

A Summer to Die (Ages 12 up) by Lois Lowry

Baby (Ages 9-12) by Patricia Maclachlan

Something for Joey (Ages 10 up) by Richard Peck

Death of a parent:

Tiger Eyes (Ages 12 up) by Judy Blume

Keeper of the Night (Ages 12 up) by Kimberly Willis Holt

Gifts from the Sea (Ages 10 up) by Natalie Kinsey-Warnock; illustrated by Judy Pedersen

Spyhole Secrets (Ages 8-12) by Zilpha Keatley Snyder

Death of a friend:

On My Honor (Ages 9-12) by Marion Dane Bauer

Flying Solo (Ages 9-12) by Ralph Fletcher

Mick Harte Was Here (Ages 8-12) by Barbara Park

Remembering the Good Times (Ages 12 up) by Richard Peck

Grass Angel (Ages 10-14) by Julie Schumacher

Vicky Angel (Ages 8-12) by Jacqueline Wilson

You may email me at pscales@bellsouth.net.