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W E E K T H R E E :
Guys Who Want to Sleep with Me
and the Things They Say That Make Me Say No
You seem like you're a very strong woman.
I just broke up with someone two weeks ago who I went
out with for two years and I'm totally over it.
Do a poem for me right now.
Are you always this angry?
Do you hate all men?
Your show is a hoot.
Do you get naked on stage?
What's your real job?
What's your real name?
I do stand-up.
I'm a feminist in my own way.
Do you want to get fresh?
Are you going to write a poem about me?
So you're an actress?
I love the films of Ed Burns.
I was born in 1972.
I cut my own hair.
We'll laugh about this at our wedding.
ADVICE FROM ANITA LIBERTY:
I try not to gear the advice I give to one specific gender, or, you
know, the other, but I thought that everyone might benefit if I were
as direct and pointed as possible.
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TO MEN: If a woman agrees to have sex with you, chances are she likes you
and you should try to be nice to someone who likes you. Or at least
polite. If she agrees to have sex with you more than once, like maybe many
times over the course of a couple of weeks, she really, really likes you
and her feelings may get hurt when she reasonably expects that you will
treat her as if you like her, too. After all, you liked her enough to have
sex with her, you should like her enough to return her calls or give her an
explanation as to why you won't. She deserves that. Pretty much everyone
deserves that, but especially everyone you've seen naked.
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TO WOMEN: Don't have sex with him until you're sure you can trust him.
That is, unless you're just having sex to fulfill a primal desire and you
haven't been touched in months and you don't have strong feelings either
way and there's no possible way that he could hurt whatever feelings you
might have. If that's your reason, go for it.
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Guys Who I Want to Sleep with
and the Things I Say That Make Them Say
"Yes. Oh God...YES!"
Hi. How are you?
EXCERPT FROM ANITA LIBERTY'S DIARY
I was moving on. MOVING ON. Finally. And like nerve gas through a
crack in the door, Mitchell infiltrated the walls of my emotional
fortress through the mail. I got a letter from him today.
Samantha was with me when I got it. She thought I should make
copies and plaster them around his neighborhood. It was a card
with a picture of a forlorn gorilla on the front. A sad, dejected,
sorry-looking primate. Gee, I wonder why he picked that
card. He wants me back. That was the gist. So now what? What?
Use of this excerpt from How to Heal the Hurt by Hating by Anita Liberty may
be made only for purposes of promoting the book, with no changes, editing, or
additions whatsoever, and must be accompanied by the following copyright notice:
Copyright ©1998 Suzanne Weber. All Rights Reserved.
W E E K F O U R
 
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