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Welcome to the Blurb Project... a soothing,
unquestioning, agreeable zone that will hopefully
swell up into something accommodating for those who
should need its warm embrace.
* * * *
Q: For all that's sacred, why do this? Are you some
kind of blurb-hating commie pig-like people with a
wild-ferret gaze in your eyes?
A: Pig-like people: not quite yet. Commies: that's
contextual. However, we don't hate blurbs at all, and
don't think they're meaningless. In fact, we're doing
this because we love blurbs. We love blurbs so much
we think everyone deserves to have at least one.
Wild-ferret gaze in our eyes? Sometimes.
* * * *
Even for a lot of established writers, the Holy Grail
quest for a good blurb can be a daunting task; and for
up-and-coming writers, it can be downright impossible
and often painful. The Blurb Project was created to
alleviate some of that pain and offer you (writer,
scholar, malcontent, student, gimp, Second Coming) the
validation you so rightly deserve. Keep in mind,
however, that while many well-known writers wield
their blurb-giving powers as if it were manna from
heaven, author blurbs don't usually sell a large
number of books, guarantee awesome reviews, or change
the world.
So, please, consider the following quotes as simply a
kind of decor for whatever you've written or
fashioned. I'm glad to help, and luckily a few others
have been kind enough to join the cause. But should
you freely claim a blurb (or blurbs) from the Project,
you are required to do one thing: once the chosen
blurb(s) is sha-biffed and given a home on the cover
of your masterpiece, you are obligated to send me a
copy of the work so it can be ceremoniously placed
upon The Blurb Project Shelf of Ultimate Grandness (if
this isn't done in a timely manner, not much will
happen, other than I might feel inclined to shame you
in the privacy of my tiny little apartment: "Shame,
shame, shame on you, whoever you are!").
Mitch Cullin, The Blurb Project
c/o Nan A. Talese/Doubleday
1745 Broadway, 22nd floor
New York, NY 10019
All right, take your pick, and set your opus on
fire...or at least make it sputter.
****
If this book were a cake, I'd eat it in one sitting.
It was that good."
- Richard Harwell, The Bookstop Shuffle
"[This book] is astonishing in many ways. You'll
never read anything again exactly like it."
- Andy Quan, Six Positions
"This book should be tossed aside lightly."
- John Barlow, author of Eating Mammals
"If only I could write a book as good as this one I would write about one just like it."
- Lou Beach, illustrator for the New York Times
"Invokes not only many great dead writers, but also many who should be."
- Lou Beach
"A real literapalooza!"
- Lou Beach
"This book is... well, what can I say. (Author's name
here) has done it again!"
- Jeff Bridges
"Few books do what this one does. This is one of
them."
- Jeff Bridges
"(Your name here) has written an insightful,
passionate, yet rational book that stays with the
reader long after the last page has been turned."
- Mitch Cullin
"The first great book of (add whatever year it happens
to be here). (Book title here) is a stunning,
profound work that captures the imagination from the
very start."
- Mitch Cullin
"Not since (your favorite novel, book, or author here)
has someone so accurately defined the human
experience. (Your name here) should be applauded for
such a brave, moving effort."
- Mitch Cullin
"I wept. Then I dried my eyes. Then I wept some
more."
- Mitch Cullin
"Wow! I still have an erection!"
- Mitch Cullin
"Heartbreaking and amazingly true.
- Mitch Cullin
"Yum. This books was so tasty that I wanted to eat it
up."
- Mitch Cullin
"Stylish and inventive."
- Mitch Cullin
"Only Stalin, Hitler, and Kirkus Reviews could hate a
book this good."
- Mitch Cullin
"Haunting, profound, and downright fantastic! I
couldn't put it down."
- Mitch Cullin
"Better than anything Mitch Cullin has ever written,
or ever will write. Way better, way way better!"
- Mitch Cullin
"Goddamn, that was really good!"
- Mitch Cullin
"(whatever you want me to say about your book here)"
- Mitch Cullin
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