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Young children are naturally curious about where babies come from -- especially if there's a new sibling in their future. How and when do you discuss this topic with your child? That's up to you. But here are some ideas that have helped other parents:
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Don't think of the birds and the bees as one "big talk." Give your child bits of age-appropriate information on a regular basis as opportunities arise.
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Answer the question as it's asked. Parents are often tempted to launch into a big long explanation the first time a child asks a question about sex; experts say such detailed descriptions often overwhelm a child and discourage her from seeking more information later.
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Explain your philosophy to your babysitter and other adults who take care of your child. Make sure they use the same terms you do and communicate the same values you have.
An ideal book to read to your child about the facts of life is The Birds, the Bees, and the Berenstain Bears. Your preschooler can learn right along with Sister Bear about why Mama's lap is shrinking and what exactly a sonogram is.
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Becoming a Big Brother or Sister
The arrival of a new baby often triggers lots of conflicting emotions for your firstborn. You can ease his adjustment by preparing him during your pregnancy and by offering support, understanding, and an extra dose of TLC once the baby comes. Here's how:
- Hold off on telling your child until your pregnancy is obvious. Then, explain your due date in terms that are meaningful to your child, such as "after your birthday," or "at the end of the summer."
- Remind him of his important role as big brother and talk about a specific contribution he might make when the baby comes. (Making the baby laugh is a favorite.)
- Explain that new babies mostly eat, sleep, and cry. It's important that he not expect an instant playmate.
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Maintain important rituals like reading at bedtime every night or buying doughnuts together every Saturday. Your older child can adapt to other changes in the household if some key things remain the same.
Two book suggestions: Arthur's New Baby Book, a humor-filled, lift-the-flap guide to being a great big brother or sister, and The Berenstain Bears' New Baby. Both books give kids realistic ideas about what it's like to have a new baby in the house.
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