SCREAM...As a parade of hideous ghouls, revolting freaks, gibbering lunatics, sadistic psycho- killers, flesh-eating zombies, and unspeakable abominations of nature spread mayhem on the screen!

SHRIEK...As a parade of inconsiderate boobs, clueless idiots, obnoxious oafs, rude rowdies, Milk Dud-eating buttheads, and unspeakable abominations of nature whisper loudly, crinkle candy wrappers, and obstruct your view in the audience!

GASP...As shriveled apparitions loom before you in the darkness and demand "Get your feet off the seats!"

CRINGE...At the condition of the restrooms!

SHIVER...Because the heat hasn't worked since the Roosevelt administration!

SHUDDER...During the coming attractions for "Stallone & Streisand in Wuthering Heights"!

HURL...When the lights come on and you get a good look at your popcorn

Check out these horrifying highlights--then check your pulse!