Introduction
When her husband became the Democratic Party’s vice-presidential candidate in 2004, Elizabeth Edwards delighted America with her down-to-earth personality and her smart responses to tough questions. Many also knew of the courage she had shown after the death of her son, Wade, who died in a tragic car accident in 1996 at the age of sixteen. She would tap this well of courage once again on November 3, 2004, the day after the general election, when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Now making a strong recovery, Elizabeth gives us a deeper understanding of the people who have shaped her remarkable spirit, in Saving Graces: Finding Solace and Strength from Friends and Strangers. A life story infused with inspiration and candor, Saving Graces reveals the little-known chapters of Elizabeth’s childhood as the daughter of a decorated Navy pilot, her joyous marriage, her inconsolable grief after Wade’s death, and the tumultuous political ride of 2004. Writing in the sincere, open tone that has become her hallmark, she captures universal experiences to which we can all relate: the comfort bestowed by unexpected strangers, and the importance of lifelong friends who sustain us. Whether you read Saving Graces with your book club, with your best friend, or on your own, we hope that the following topics will enhance your experience of this moving memoir.
Topics and Questions for Discussion
1. Throughout Saving Graces, Elizabeth Edwards describes her great friend, Hargrave McElroy, who knows not only how to soothe but also how to orchestrate countless details. Who is the Hargrave in your life? To whom do you turn when you need both compassion and wisdom?
2. How was Elizabeth shaped by her childhood as a military daughter? What aspects of that world prepared her for a high-profile future? What aspects of her youth would later challenge her understanding of the world?
3. What did Elizabeth’s parents and grandparents teach her about parenting? Which of their legacies are still a part of her life?
4. Discuss the memoir’s title. How do you define grace? What is Elizabeth’s message about human nature in times of crisis?
5. Elizabeth recalls her first date with John Edwards, which culminated in her wedding-dress quest during the bar exam and a lifetime of anniversary celebrations at Wendy’s. What has kept their marriage strong?
6. As Elizabeth writes about the sorrow of burying her son, what does she tell us about the experience of grief, and the best ways to bring comfort to someone who is enduring a similar experience? If you had participated in her online group, how would you have responded to the religious debate that was sparked?
7. Wade clearly embraced his parents’ vision of service to others and striving for excellence in all endeavors. At his funeral, his father read these lines from Wade’s Outward Bound journal: “The course director said the solo is where you become a man. I disagree with that … I think that you never really stop maturing and growing as a person.” How do his words apply to your life? What does it mean to possess maturity? What were your equivalents of a challenging “solo”? Has your personal growth ever truly been achieved solo?
8. Enrolling in law school, Cate followed in her parents’ footsteps. What opportunities exist for Cate in the twenty-first century that were less available to her grandmother’s generation?
9. Now in her mid-fifties, the author grew up during a period of rapid cultural transformation. How have the expectations for various populations—families, politicians, military personnel, first ladies—changed since the 1950s and 1960s? What lessons did Elizabeth learn during the sixth-grade mock election between Kennedy and Nixon?
10. How did Elizabeth adapt when her husband entered political life—and was immediately made a presiding officer in the Clinton impeachment hearings, no less? What new elements did Washington introduce into the Edwards household? What were (and are) the constants in their lives? How have you weathered the greatest transitions in your life?
11. What are your recollections of the 2004 presidential election? What were the deciding factors? What campaign details were you surprised to discover in Saving Graces? What qualities does a candidate’s spouse need in order to be truly supportive?
12. Elizabeth vividly recounts many of the conversations she has had with voters in recent years, and her concern for keeping promises made to them. She also describes her frustration when expectations were not met, such as the Kerry-Edwards train not stopping in the wee hours though crowds had gathered on the platform, or Dick Cheney claiming never to have met John Edwards prior to the debate, though news footage quickly proved otherwise. Is it possible for elected officials to maintain a high standard of reliability and honesty once in office?
13. Elizabeth and John have built supportive networks of lifelong friends and colleagues, but the subtitle of Saving Graces reminds us of the strangers who have also helped them, such as the now deceased pilot who gave her cheerful greetings and safe passage after her dreadful transportation experiences. Who have been the least-expected strangers to help you during a crisis? What opportunities are in your life right now to be the saving grace for someone else?
14. What insight does Elizabeth’s story impart about the emotional and medical aspects of a breast cancer diagnosis? What does her case indicate about current debates over whether mammograms are worthwhile?
15. Though Elizabeth’s life has been marked by loss, she and John have also experienced beautiful blessings, including the birth of their two younger children when the odds seemed against it, and Elizabeth’s victories in her battle against cancer. What determines whether our losses overshadow our joys?
