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  • Santa vs. Satan
  • Written by Jake Kalish
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  • Santa vs. Satan
  • Written by Jake Kalish
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Santa vs. Satan

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The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights

Written by Jake KalishAuthor Alerts:  Random House will alert you to new works by Jake Kalish


List Price: $9.99


On Sale: July 08, 2008
Pages: 0 | ISBN: 978-0-307-44966-5
Published by : Crown Archetype Crown/Archetype
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“Who would win between . . .” has through the ages been one of man’s most fundamental questions. Sadly, adult responsibilities like “earning a living” and “having a girlfriend” have conspired to make it impossible for men to devote to this issue the scholarship it so deeply deserves. But now one hero has tapped into our ­need to know who’s the best, the strongest, the caveman with the biggest club.

From Jake Kalish, five-star general of the Imaginary Battlefield, emerges Santa vs. Satan, a tome that offers far more than idle speculation, culling expert analysis from martial arts masters, scientists, social theorists, and pop-culture philosophers, providing in-depth detail of the strengths and vulnerabilities of the combatants, and making bold predictions. Warriors are profiled and winners are declared in this seminal list of throwdowns that never were but should have been.

Han Solo vs. Indiana Jones
Adam vs. Charles Darwin
The Virgin vs. The Whore
Drunk vs. Stoner
Conspiracy Theorists vs. Conspirators
Muhammad Ali vs. Bruce Lee
The Stork vs. The Grim Reaper
Metrosexual vs. Eunuch
Michael Corleone vs. Tony Montana
Small Man with Breasts vs. Large Balding Woman
Artist vs. Critic
The Constipated vs. The Incontinent
Gandalf vs. Obi-Wan Kenobi
Married Gay Couple vs. Divorced Straight Couple
Jake Kalish

About Jake Kalish

Jake Kalish - Santa vs. Satan

Photo © Justin Sullivan

JAKE KALISH is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Blender, Men’s ­Fitness, and Playboy, among other publications. He could totally kick your ass.


"This is the best waste of time available in print this summer."
—Will Coviello, www.blogofneworleans.com

“It's rare to find a book that actually can make you laugh out loud, and this book definitely can. It mines the sublime from the ridiculous, using a rapid-fire mixture of pop culture and irony delivered with a potty mouth to create a tongue-in-cheek work of quasi-seriousness. Plus, you can get an expert opinion on who would win a fight between Han Solo and Indiana Jones. Really, what's not to love?"
—Allen Adams, The Maine Edge

"There's no better way to whip your happy-hour friends into a frenzy than by debating one of Kalish's faux fight cards."
Men's Health

"If you're on the toilet regretting the hot wings you just scarfed down, and you know you're going to be there for at least the next couple of hours, there's no better book to accompany you on your ordeal."
—Jason Hare, www.popdose.com

"Santa vs. Satan is one of the funniest books I have read in a while."
Blogcritics magazine

  • Santa vs. Satan by Jake Kalish
  • July 08, 2008
  • Humor
  • Three Rivers Press
  • $13.95
  • 9780307406705

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