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  • How Not to Completely Suck as a New Parent
  • Written by Scott Feschuk and Paul Mather
  • Format: Trade Paperback | ISBN: 9780771047541
  • Our Price: $16.95
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How Not to Completely Suck as a New Parent

Written by Scott FeschukAuthor Alerts:  Random House will alert you to new works by Scott Feschuk and Paul MatherAuthor Alerts:  Random House will alert you to new works by Paul Mather

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ABOUT THE BOOK ABOUT THE BOOK
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Synopsis|Table of Contents

Synopsis

Are you tired of the earnest advice in conventional parenting books? Do you want to know what’s really in your future as a new parent? Scott Feschuk and Paul Mather both know, all too well, and are happy to tell you with their trademark irreverence what it’s really like to be a new parent.

For instance, they tell you that by nine months your baby will inevitably have missed several milestones, sending you into a complete panic. And sooner or later you’ll realize you’re doing everything wrong. The solution is simple: just read a different childcare advice book. Also, if your child has not knocked over something expensive and nice by the age of three, this could be a sign that you don’t have enough things that are expensive and nice. Did you know that a child’s affection for a song is directly proportional to how severely it annoys his mother and father? And, believe it or not, experts estimate that by 2024, the cost of a drunken frat party at a typical postsecondary institution will be $575,000. You owe it to your child to start saving now!

Candid and comic, How Not to Completely Suck is a bundle of laughs for frazzled new parents and curious parents-to-be. The perfect gift for a shower or Mother’s Day.

Table of Contents

Introduction

The First Year:
Your Newborn’s Appearance
Setting Up the Nursery
The First Month of Life
Diapers
The Little Things
Resuming Sexual Relations After the Birth of Your Child
The Baby Reveal
Baby Monitors
Memories to Last a Lifetime
Baby Clothes
Signs You May Have Picked the Wrong Pediatrician
Parental Threat Level
Good Advice about Bad Advice
Getting Back into Shape
Travelling with
Money
Tit for Tat
Feeding Your Infant
Childprooffing Your Home
Questions, Questions

The Second Year
The Not-So-Newlywed Game
The Growth of a Toddler
Books
Talking to Your Child
Fun Activities You Can Do with a Toddler, and Why They’re Not Fun
Family Dining
Christmas Specials
Signs You May Have Picked a Bad Daycare
Failed Children’s TV Shows
More Questions, Questions

The Third Year
The Outdoers
ABCs
Arrgh!: One Man’s Story
Cartoon Violence
When I Was a Kid…
Midnights
Teaching Your Child to Think Creatively
Going Wiggly
How to Talk to Young Children about “Difficult”
Subjects: A Guest Chapter by Dr. Ben Agiter,
Child Psychologist
Jazzy and Gigi
Dangerously Sick of Winter
Soft Pants
Enough with the Questions, Already!
The Rest of Your Child’s Life
Conclusion: What Does it Mean to Be a Parent?

Appendix One
Your Second Child

Appendix Two
Parenting 2015: A One-Act Play
Scott Feschuk

About Scott Feschuk

Scott Feschuk - How Not to Completely Suck as a New Parent

Photo © Susan Allan

Scott Feschuk former media columnist for the National Post, is the author of Searching For Michael Jackson’s Nose. He is currently the prime minister’s speech writer.

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