FREEING YOUR PASSION DIVA
Angie was a thirty–five–year–old mother and part–time receptionist living in Little Rock, Arkansas, when she came to her first Passion Party. “I’m not sure this is for me,” she told Wanda, her Passion Consultant, with a nervous laugh. “I’m just not the sexy type.” Our parties are designed to make women feel comfortable, so like all our Passion Consultants, Wanda started her presentation slowly, beginning with some RomantaTherapy Alluring Body Lotion and Bath & Shower Gel. Soon, though, she was on to Revelation Lubricant; Passion Powder, a white chocolate flavored dusting powder designed to be licked off the body; and finally, the Bullet and the Jelly Osaki, two types of vibrators. Some of the women at her party were shy at first, but soon they were turning the vibrators on and off, feeling the way they tingled in their palms, and smiling at the thought of what else those little machines might do.
All except Angie. As the evening went on, she looked more and more uncomfortable. When it came time for each guest to meet with the Passion Consultant privately, in the hostess’s bedroom, she hung back. Finally, when her turn arrived, she entered the private ordering room reluctantly. But then she began to confide in Wanda.
“Look,” she said in a low, ashamed voice. “I’ve never done any of the things you talked about. I’ve never…you know…had…” Her voice dropped to a whisper—“Oral sex
. Either way—him to me, and certainly not me to him. I’ve never even…you know.” Her whisper got even lower. “Had an orgasm
Wanda spent time with Angie, explaining how she might use an edible product called D’Lickious to make oral sex more fun, and how a generous helping of Revelation Lubricant plus the right use of the Magic Mushroom vibrator could help her learn how to have an orgasm. Angie left the party looking nervous—but determined. The next week, Wanda got a call. “Thank you,” Angie gushed, her voice filled with gratitude. “Thank you, thank you, thank you
! I finally see what I’ve been missing all these years—and well, honey, that’s it. Now that I get what’s over here on the other side, you know
Like so many of the women who come to our parties, Angie had just met her Passion Diva—and it was a very pleasant meeting, to say the least! The important thing to remember, though, is that Angie’s Passion Diva had been there all along. She was just waiting for Angie to set her free. Like so many of us, Angie had grown up with a “good–girl” philosophy and a couple of anxious parents who had never really given her the message that it was okay to enjoy sex, let alone taught her the ins and outs of how a woman’s body works and what she needs. Tips and techniques are important—I’ll be the first to admit it!—and don’t worry, we’ll tell you everything you need to know, starting with the basic biology of you and your guy, and moving on to specific techniques for self–pleasuring, foreplay, intercourse, oral sex, and some even more adventurous choices. Whether you’ve never tried any of it, or have done it all and want some new ideas—or anything in between—I promise you’ll find what you’re looking for in these pages.
But before we get to any of the nuts and bolts, so to speak, I want us to start where passion always begins–in the brain and in the heart. I want you to get to know your own personal Passion Diva, because in the end, it’s not me or this book or even your Passion Consultant who’s going to bring spice and heat and tenderness and joy into your bedroom–it’s you
. Freeing your Passion Diva is the key to every single one of your sexual desires, no matter what you know or don’t know about which body part goes where.
Maria, for example, had been married for more than ten years, and she and her husband had done just fine. But when Maria came to her first Passion Party, she learned something she didn’t expect: Maria was a forty–three–year–old claims adjustor living in central Ohio, when she came to Valerie’s Passion Party. Maria had had two serious relationships and a number of brief affairs before finally settling down in her early thirties, and she thought of herself as relatively experienced sexually. Her girlfriend had to talk her into coming to a Passion Party, and at first, Maria was reluctant to participate.
As the evening continued, though, Valerie noticed that Maria was becoming more interested. She seemed especially curious about D’Lickious, Sweet Sensations, and Tasty Tease—edible products that can make both male and female oral sex a lot tastier and more satisfying (for more details, see Chapter 8). And she really perked up when Valerie told the group about Gigi, the lifelike sleeve that fits around a man’s penis, leaving only the tip exposed. Lots of women have found that Gigi offers an easier and more satisfying approach to giving a man oral sex, one that makes the whole experience much more fun for both parties.
By the time Valerie got out her order book, Maria was grinning from ear to ear. She listed the products she wanted and asked urgently when they would arrive. “You know,” she told Valerie as she was about to leave, “my husband and I have been doing just fine, and I’m sure if I hadn’t come tonight, we’d have kept on doing fine. But why live with ‘fine’ when you can have ‘fantastic’?” Later, Maria sent Valerie an e-mail: Everything worked out just great. Yes, all the things I wanted us to do—and all the things he’s been wanting us to do—we’re doing! Finally! And the best part is, we’re both enjoying all of it!
Maria’s Passion Diva had been alive and well—she just hadn’t been allowed to reach her full potential. Like many of us, Maria had always been a bit shy in the bedroom. She’d learned to enjoy lots of things, and even to initiate them, but there’d always been some areas where she’d never quite been comfortable. Her experience at a Passion Party had helped Maria free a portion of her Diva that she’d always kept hidden before—and nobody was happier about it than Maria (unless, maybe, Maria’s husband!).
Freeing your Passion Diva goes well beyond what you do in bed. Sometimes it’s about being able to talk freely about sex, knowing that it’s okay to think about sex and to make your interest in sexual pleasure a significant part of your life. Natalie, for example, found that a Passion Party was the opportunity for her Passion Diva to burst forth in a whole new way:
A bubbly, confident single woman in her twenties, Natalie worked as a buyer for a department store in a Minneapolis suburb. She walked cheerfully into the Passion Party that Diane had organized, and from the very first moment, she was full of stories, questions, and even a few ideas Diane hadn’t thought of. Her obvious enthusiasm for all the products was contagious, and Diane found herself taking orders from the other guests that were even larger than usual. Clearly, Natalie’s Passion Diva was alive, well, and out for fun, and she was unquestionably the life of the party.
But when Natalie came to place her order, she had tears in her eyes. “Honestly,” she whispered to Diane, “I always really, you know, liked sex, but I always felt like kind of a freak. I mean, so many of my girlfriends just didn’t want to talk about this stuff. I think they felt kind of embarrassed. Coming to a place where it’s okay
to talk about sex—where someone who knows so much will actually talk about it with you and give you some new ideas, and not make you feel like there’s something wrong with you for wanting to know more—well. I just can’t tell you how much it means.”
Natalie’s Passion Diva was happy to play—but sometimes, she wanted company! She needed to know there were other Passion Divas out there who could share her pleasure and pass on some fun things they had learned how to do. If Natalie had never gone to a Passion Party, her Diva would have been just fine—but maybe a little lonely, and certainly not as well–informed!
So whether your story is more like that of Angie, Maria, or Natalie—or maybe like all of them or none of them—your first step is always to check in with your Passion Diva. What does she want? What does she need? How can you give her even more freedom to make you and your partner happy—maybe even ecstatic? In Part I of this book, we’ll help you free your Passion Diva by showing you what she knows (Chapter 1), helping you hear her voice (Chapter 2), giving her a sexy biology lesson (Chapter 3), and reviewing with her the art of self–pleasuring (Chapter 4).And in every chapter, we’ll show you how to stock her Passion Pantry with the products and other items that every Diva should keep on hand for maximal sexual pleasure. So let’s get started! Your Passion Diva is rarin’ to go!From the Hardcover edition.
Excerpted from The Passion Parties Guide to Great Sex by Pat Davis. Copyright © 2007 by Pat Davis. Excerpted by permission of Harmony, a division of Random House LLC. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.