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His Rules

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Written by Christopher BurgeAuthor Alerts:  Random House will alert you to new works by Christopher Burge and Pamela ToussaintAuthor Alerts:  Random House will alert you to new works by Pamela Toussaint


List Price: $13.99


On Sale: December 24, 2008
Pages: 256 | ISBN: 978-0-307-55166-5
Published by : WaterBrook Press Religion/Business/Forum
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Frustrated by All the Advice for Finding Mr. or Mrs. Right?

Some worldly “experts” may sound sexy but don’t offer the spiritual tools you need to address the real-life pains, temptations, and fears associated with the dating experience. Quickie solutions won’t cut it, and neither will a wait-and-see approach. You want God’s views–His rules for becoming and attracting a lifelong mate. This book offers the answers you’ve been seeking.

·Rule 1: Make Sure Your Map Isn’t Upside Down (Get a clue about what real relationships are about, for your own sake!)
·Rule 5: Clean House (If your internal house is dirty, how can you invite folks to come live with you?)
·Rule 6: Put the Kingdom Above the Booty (God’s not getting relationship rules from Sex and the City, so why are you?)
·Rule 11: Stop Looking Back (Crying about what could’ve been keeps you from what can be.)
·Rule 15: Handle the Heat (Learn how to tame the fire, or get out of the kitchen.)
·Plus eleven more rules for avoiding relationship disasters.

Using wit, straight talk, and real-life illustrations, His Rules explores relationship guidelines singles can follow as they seek out lifelong love. These no-nonsense relationship rules will equip you to get closer to God, challenge you to clean up your act in preparation for a mate, and give you the savvy you need to distinguish a godly mate from an imposter.

Because when you commit to following God’s guidance, your relationship will not only work–it will last.


From Rule 6: Put the Kingdom Above the Booty, page 83:

Like Samson, many of us ignore the truth about someone we find attractive. We dig in our heels, fold our arms, and boldly declare that bad is good when it comes to our relationship choices. Despite advice to the contrary, we still insist, “She/he pleases me well.” If you find yourself thinking any of the following about people you are going out with, you need a dose of God’s truth, or you are headed for a fall:
· I just know I can fix him/her. We cannot even fix ourselves, that’s why we needed a Savior! So how can we fix other folks, especially when they may resist being fixed? God would not give you an unsaved or unhealthy marriage partner to sap
all of your energy and render you useless in the kingdom.
If your love interest needs work, it’s likely to be work he or she should be doing with the Holy Spirit–alone. Your presence will only hinder the process. Don’t date anyone until God fixes the major issues in that person first!
· I’ve invested too much time and energy to quit now. We see the Doppler radar screen flashing: severe tornado warning: vacate premises immediately, but we decide to sit tight and see if it will pass. What happens if it doesn’t? You may survive–though just barely–to find that your roof is blown off and it will take years to rebuild.
· I’m scared of what he/she might do if I leave him/her. You should be more scared of what might happen to your self-esteem, self-respect, and peace of mind if you stay. Your choices are the only ones God holds you responsible for–only you can choose what’s best for yourself.seeDeut30:19 Lamentations 1:9 warns, She did not consider her destiny; therefore her collapse was awesome. Do what you should do (break up nicely), and trust God to do what He does best (comfort and restore both of you–separately).
· Well, it’s better than being alone. You think a bad relationship is worse than no relationship? Wrong. The danger of spending time with the wrong person is that it can cause soul ties to form: They start out as threads, become wires, and before long there’s a cable tied around your neck, choking you. You are never alone if you have a relationship with Jesus Christ. And you have so much to work on to get yourself ready for the special-sauce mate He has for you, you don’t have time to give in to loneliness!
· But I luuuv him/her! Ah, yes. Love can do many things, but it cannot conquer another person’s weak character or usurp someone’s will and force him or her to change. True love allows the loved one to experience the consequences of his or her decisions. As my (Chris’s) pastor, Dr. A. R. Bernard, often says, “Suffer the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.”
Christopher Burge|Pamela Toussaint

About Christopher Burge

Christopher Burge - His Rules
Christopher L. Burge has been the faithful facilitator of a dynamic “thirty-something” bible study in New York City for the past 13 years. The midweek, midtown study now boasts a list of more than 600 attendees. Burge is a graduate of Rhema Bible Training Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where he received three years of biblical and pastoral training. When he returned to New York, Burge further utilized his teaching and counseling gifts at Covenant House, working with homeless teenagers. The oratory skills he acquired administering “tough love and straight talk” have now become his sought-after signature.
A native New Yorker, Chris Burge was born and educated on Long Island. Sought after by Dartmouth and Columbia universities as a high-schooler, he chose to attend Brown University where he graduated with double Bachelor’s degrees, one in Economics and a second in African-American studies. After graduation, Burge was offered a position at the prestigious Salomon Brothers investment firm where he was promoted to vice president of Fixed Income and Institutional Sales at age twenty-five. In this position, Burge managed client investment portfolios for some of the largest money managers in the country. After 10 successful years on Wall Street, he heard the call to formal ministry. “A career I loved the day before suddenly became drudgery by 9:05 a.m.,” he recalls, “I knew it was time to move on.”
Today, Burge uses his sound biblical training and sharp wit to teach his peers how to live healthy, successful lives through Chris Burge Ministries, Inc. “My assignment is to help people reach their divine potential by applying biblical principles to their personal development,” he explains.
“I can’t imagine being more fulfilled.”

About Pamela Toussaint

Pamela Toussaint - His Rules
Pamela Toussaint began her career as an author with the publication of her first co-authorship Mama’s Little Baby (Penguin Putnam, 1997), a unique guide to pregnancy, childbirth, and baby’s first year with pediatrician Dennis Brown of Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center. The book received favorable reviews in Essence magazine, Publisher’s Weekly, Booklist, Library Journal, and The Washington Post, and received endorsements from esteemed authors Dr. James Comer (Yale), Dr Alvin Poussaint (Harvard), Julia Boyd and Drs. Derek and Darlene Hopson. She followed with her own book, Great Books for African-American Children (Penguin Putnam, 1999), which reviews 250 excellent books for toddlers to teens.
Pamela also made her debut in the Christian market in 1999 as co-author of I Call You Friend: Four Women’s Stories of Race, Faith and Friendship (Broadman & Holman), which chronicles the life journeys of four girlfriends. She and co-author Jo Kadlecek, were featured on a one-hour ABC News/Lifetime special discussing ways to promote authentic relationship across ethnicity, along with educators, activists and journalists, including Lisa Ling of “The View” and “Any Day Now” co-stars Annie Potts and Lorraine Toussaint (no relation).
Her literary contributions include Signs of Hope in the City (Judson Press, 1997) and Boys Into Men (Penguin, 2000) with Drs. Nancy and A.J. Franklin.
In addition to serving as an editor at Essence magazine, Pamela has been published in Black Enterprise, HFD, Decision (Billy Graham Evangelistic Asso.), and Discipleship Journal magazines. In the early 1990’s she served as media spokesperson at the American Red Cross in New York and made numerous appearances on local television and radio representing the organization’s disaster relief efforts. She is a graduate of Fordham University with a B.A. in Communications.


Praise for His Rules

His Rules is de rigeur for any single with a sincere desire to find the “special sauce” mate God has for them.
--Ronn Elmore, Psy.d, Author, Transforming Your Relationships: An Action Plan for Love that Lasts (with T.D. Jakes)

His Rules is an amazingly Biblical guidebook with practical and relevant encouragement for all singles. Our single sons will all get a copy!
--Pam and Bill Farrel, Authors of Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti and Why Men and Women Act the Way They Do!

Instead of telling singles how–or not–to date, Burge and Toussaint tell singles how to prepare themselves for the spouse God intends them to have and what to do once they think that person has been found. Their insightful questions and activities help singles delve deep into their own expectations and misconceptions about marriage and lead them toward healthy relationships with the Lord and with their future partner. Christian singles who find their methods are ineffective, as they often are, will be relieved to read this book and find a roadmap to guide them to and through one of the most important decisions of their lives.
--Alison Strobel, author of Worlds Collide

Christopher and Pamela have written a must-read book for Christian singles longing for a soul mate. Each chapter systematically dismantles the fantasies, untruths, and faulty thinking that undermine a successful search for a mate and a successful marriage. His Rules equips readers with insights and skills that force them to dig deep within their own souls to prepare themselves for a God honoring marriage–long before anyone is even in the picture.
--Cheryl Green, author of World Wide Search: The Savvy Christian's Guide to Online Dating

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