Friend or Faux

Excerpt

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction
A Brief Note on the Usefulness of This Book
Threat level green: The No-Risk Friend
     The Late-to-the-Party Friend
     The Smart Ditzy Friend
     The Hot Asian Friend
     The Stoner Friend
     The Mature Friend (aka The Mom Friend)
     The Tan Friend
     The Crisis Neutralizer Friend
     The Artsy Friend
     The Armchair Psychologist Friend
     The Party-Times Foreign Friend
     The Texan Friend
     The Obsessively Optimistic Friend
     The Retail Therapy Friend
     The Cute Tech Geek Friend
     The Wingman Friend
     The Gay Friend
Threat level blue: The Low-Risk Friend
     The Everything to Everyone Friend
     The Suddenly Single Friend
     The “I Went to Nepal and It Totally Changed My  Perspective” Friend
     The Questionable Sexuality Friend
     The Bad-Taste-in-Music Friend
     The Perpetually-Trying-to-Lose-Ten-Pounds Friend
     The Staggeringly Successful Friend
     The “I Saw on Oprah” Friend
     The Sex Advice Friend
     The Design-y Friend
     The Empowered Woman Friend
     The Jam Band Friend
     The Terminal Exaggerator Friend
     The Crude Friend
     The Lightweight Friend
     The Terminally Laid-Back Friend
Threat level yellow: The Moderate-Risk Friend
     The Outdoorsy Friend
     The Suburban Friend
     The Preppy Friend
     The New Mom Friend
     The Sanctimonious Activist Friend
     The Weird Interests Friend
     The Kicky DIY Friend
     The Blabby McBlabberton Friend
     The Secret Shame Friend
     The Always-in-Love Friend
     The Magic Sparkle Pegasus Powder Friend
     The Still-Friends-with-Your-Ex-Boyfriend Friend
     The So-Slammed-at-Work-Right-Now Friend
     The Smack-Talking Friend
     The Brilliantly Bitchy IM Friend
     The Secretly-Still-a-Virgin Friend
     The Friend-You-Met-That-Summer-You-Worked-at- Chili’s Friend
     The Territorial Friend
Threat level orange: The High-Risk Friend
     The Non-Confrontational Friend (aka The E-mails of Rage Friend)
     The Foodie Friend
     The Aggressively Christian Friend
     The “I’m from New York” Friend
     The Cheap Friend
     The Megalomaniac Hostess Friend
     The Naked Friend
     The Boyfriend Mind Meld Friend (aka The “Dan Sez” Friend)
     The Marginally Famous Friend
     The Undercover Slut Friend
     The Insanely Paranoid Friend
     The Blogger Friend
     The “Let’s Go to Vegas!” Friend
     The Girly Girl Friend
     The Flaky Friend
     The Bookish Hipster Friend
     The Pro Sports Fan Friend
     The Crazy Cat Lady Friend
     The Girlfriend-of-Your-Platonic-Guy-Friend Friend
Threat level red: The Severe-Risk Friend
     The Too-Cool Friend
     The Creepy Clinger Friend
     The Best-Friends-Since-Fourth-Grade Friend
     The Flirts-with-Every-Guy-Including-Your-Dad Friend
     The “Who Knew She’d be a Bridezilla?” Friend
     The Bossy Friend
     The Self-Proclaimed Diva Friend
     The Sorta Racist Friend
     The Pity Junky Friend
     The Terminally Uptight Friend
     The Indie Pixie Friend
     The One-Upper Friend
     The Boozy Blackout Friend
     The Boring Friend
     The Fussy Vegan Friend
     The Shallow Scenester Friend
     The Smelly Friend
     The Klepto Friend
     The Backstabby Friend
Acknowledgments

Excerpted from Friend or Faux by Heather Wagner. Copyright © 2009 by Quirk Productions, Inc.. Excerpted by permission of Quirk Books, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.