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What is it about high risk activities that attracts you and
people like Dan Osman?
Most people stumble on environments that are physically threatening
as children, and some find the experience electrifying; they like the
feeling of being under threat. When I was around nine or ten a hurricane
came through my home town. Docks were swept away, forty-foot boats were
torn from their moorings and tossed onto the beach. There were telephone
poles and live wires down on our street. The air was full of debris:
falling branches, lawn chairs, garbage cans. I was ecstatic; I walked
around in a kind of trance. I guess I knew it was dangerous, but I didn't
care. It was as if the world finally became real to me, as if my senses
were inadequate, as if I needed everything to go crazy for me to feel
alive.
Often, kids develop a thematic relationship with a particular form of
risk taking: a chronic tree-climber, for example, who becomes an alpinist,
or an adolescent pyromaniac who becomes a firefighter. Others generalize.
There is a great range, of course. Some people, like Osman, structure
their entire adult lives around placing themselves at risk. Other people,
of course, don't care for it.
To what do you attribute the incredible growth of extreme sports
in the last decade?
There are many factors, I imagine, including the invention of technologies
(like artificial climbing walls) that opened up sports like climbing
to urban markets. Most of the frenzy is marketing and media driven.
The great majority of those who read Outside or Men's Journal
are educated urban professionals with no shortage of disposable income.
Philosophically, extreme sports go hand in hand with the sport-ute.
Forty thousand dollars for an enclosed jeep, and they can't sell them
fast enough. These sports have been marketed very aggressively and with
great success. Look at The North Face; they've gone so far they're hiphop.
The outdoors, really, is the product. And being outdoors, in the mountains,
out on the water, is one of the few experiences that actually delivers
more than you can sell.
How did you become involved with Dan Osman and his cadre of
climbers?
I wrote a piece about him for The Atlantic Monthly; much of that
piece was included in the first part of the book.
Who, or what, is the "Phantom Lord" of your book?
One of Osman's most difficult routes is called Phantom Lord. For me,
somehow, the Phantom Lord became a kind of mythological figure, a representation
of the fear that Osman grapples with as a free-soloist (or unroped climber)
and bridge-jumper. Essentially, the Phantom Lord became for me the fear
of death. On another level, Osman himself is the Phantom Lord, a kind
of necromancer or magician. When I imagine Osman, wrestling with his
fear on the bridge, and finally falling, the one is indistinguishable
from the other. He accepts it, and so defeats it. All this imagery is
fairly muddy and melodramatic; I'm not saying it makes any sense. But
this is how it developed, more or less unconsciously, in my attempt
to understand who Osman is and what he does.
You involved yourself completely in this book, going as far
as jumping off a cliff to feel the rush that your subject feels. Can
you describe this experience?
I have never been drawn to bungee-jumping--it always struck me as ludicrous
and contrived--but Osman's system, using climbing gear, derived from
climbing applications, had a certain logic, a certain purity. I was
terrified, of course, right up until the moment I stepped off. If I
hadn't been, the exercise would have been pointless.
Fall of the Phantom Lord is an adventure narrative, yet
it is also a meditation on risk and responsibility. You are married,
and have a child, how do you reconcile your love of the challenge with
your responsibility to your family?
I try to find a balance. My daughter was born in the course of my research,
and my attitudes toward climbing and toward Osman shifted. I would not
have taken that jump, for example, after my daughter's birth. But I
continue to climb.
I went ice climbing this winter with John Bouchard, up in New Hampshire,
and he took me up some beautiful, committed routes. Before I left for
the trip I discovered that my daughter (then around fifteen months)
had put a large teething ring, like an Aztec bracelet, into one of my
ice climbing boots. I took this as a kind of unconscious blessing from
her, a talisman. I kept the ring in my chest pocket while I climbed.
I thought of her a fair amount, in moments of rest, at belays. The climbing
was fantastic. But I was a lot more careful than I might have been ten
years ago. It's amazing how superstitious--or how religious, or both--we
become when we know we're at risk. Bouchard prays before serious climbs.
But on our first day, when I asked if he had a first aid kit, he said
no--bad luck.
You obviously have a tremendous amount of respect for Dan Osman,
yet many people would be unable to understand the risks he takes. How
would you explain his way of life to them?
On the one hand, I think his life is indefensible--I'm sure he would
agree. He's a father, for one thing, and I think he owes it to his daughter
to stick around. And what he does decidedly endangers that responsibility.
He's pushing the edge about as hard as you can push it. On the other
hand, I know that I've been very inspired by his example. Just watching
him climb is extraordinary. I've learned a lot from him, about being
true to yourself, about refusing to live by fear. We need individuals
like Osman; we always have.
Writing seems almost antithetical to the adrenaline-inducing
activities which you describe. How do you marry the two in your life?
I often write standing up. It keeps the blood moving, keeps me from
going to sleep; it's easier on the legs. I think it helps the writing;
when I write sitting down the language is more passive. Either way,
the actual experience of writing is often like hitting a punching bag
underwater for five hours, or walking up a down escalator, just fast
enough to keep pace, in an expedition backpack full of phone books.
It's exhausting, and often tedious, and you think, How did I get into
this business? I want to be out doing things. And so I try to
write about things that are active; to compensate through the research.
To be fair, the writing itself can sometimes be very satisfying. The
personal material in this book--particularly the material surrounding
my daughter's birth--was very difficult to work with, very frightening.
But it was a great gift to have had the time--to be forced, really,
through the work--to reflect on that period so intensely, to try to
make some sense of that experience.
What have you learned about yourself during the experience of
writing this book?
I've acquired a certain amount of patience. Before the book, I wrote
everything in a rush, on momentum. On a magazine piece you can do that.
But on a long project you run out of gas, sooner or later, and more
than once. Your moods change: you get sick, tired, bored. And still
the book is there, impassive and unfinished. You have no choice but
to keep working, day after day. Writing is a job, after all, like any
other. And by doing that, by sanding away at the floorboards of a subject,
you soon find a cellar beneath it, and a cellar under that, like the
cellars of the Domus Augustus in Rome.
What challenges and writing subjects lie ahead for you?
I have a short list of routes I'd like to climb, here in the US and
in Europe, and a few wrecks I'd like to dive. And I expect I'll write
about them, in some form or another. But I'm also looking into other,
non-sporting subjects. One of the things I admire so in John McPhee
is his ability to write so well on so many different subjects: Scotland,
tennis, geology, oranges. I'm very drawn to that kind of breadth. I'm
particularly interested in matters of faith; all the more so since my
daughter's birth. I've always loved ancient history. I like to cook.
And I'll try to incorporate those interests into my work.
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