A Goomba's Guide to Life
Attention would-be paesans: Can’t distinguish “gabagool” from “pasta fazool”? Not sure how to properly accessorize your track suit with gold chains? Does the phrase “go to the mattresses” make you sleepy? Now Steven R. Schirripa, The Sopranos’ own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba’s Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy “from the neighborhood.”
Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV’s most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You’ll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do’s and don’ts (never, ever criticize a goomba’s mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).
With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba’s Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.
From the Hardcover edition.
“Finally, a Goomba guide for everyone that is one, knows one, or wants to be one. Steve Schirripa is a great storyteller with a touching and humorous story to tell.” -- James Gandolfini
“Before reading this book, who was I? Just another punk kid on the street trying to stay out of jail. Now I’m a rock star, an award-winning actor, and a DJ on my own radio show. Thank you, Stevie—I owe it all to you!” -- Stevie Van Zandt
“Put a gold chain on your neck, sit down on a plastic-covered couch, and then read what I think is the funniest book there is about Italians. Now have a cannoli and shut up.” -- Ray Romano
“Steve Schirripa is the best Italian writer since Maya Angelou and I’m not just saying that because he has
a gun to my head . . . okay, yes I am.” -- Chris Rock
“From one fat guy to another—and from a real goy to a real goomba—this book is hilarious!” -- Louie Anderson
“I laughed until I ate.” --Kevin James
“This book is a heartfelt celebration of Italian-American culture from a guy who really knows his macaroni. Congratulations, Steve. Salute!” -- Michael Imperioli
“Steve Schirripa’s A Goomba’s Guide to Life absolutely killed me, stuffed my body in the trunk of a Monte Carlo, and then dumped me in the river.” -- Bill Maher
From the Hardcover edition.